A little bit of TLC

A little bit of TLC

KAY Jackson has been fostering since 1994 and over the years she’s done long term, emergency and respite foster care.For the past 15 months she has looked after two brothers aged 10 and 11 until a permanent family is found for them.“I used to provide respite care for them but their permanent placement broke down,” she explains. “Hopefully a new family will be identified for them in the next few months and, although I’ll miss them, I hope to be their respite carer again.” Although Kay now prefers doing emergency, respite and short-term care, she looked after four brothers and sisters for 10 years, which she found very rewarding, watching them mature towards adulthood. Kay’s own children, now 19, 22 and 30, were quite young when she first became a foster carer. “The house was full of kids and it was a really busy time,” she remembers. The brothers she has just now are close. They’ve been in care since they were two and three and have had a number of placements, so even when everything else changes they know they still have each other.“In Scotland, on average, kids can move three or four times until a permanent home can be found,” Kay says.“It’s best if that home is in the same local area that the kids have been brought up so that they can continue at the same school and keep the same friends but because there’s often a shortage of foster carers, the children sometimes have to move quite a distance away.” Kay, who is a single carer, hopes to continue fostering for as long as she can. “I’ve built up a considerable amount of expertise and knowledge in all sorts of areas, including psychology, the education system, special needs and relationships. Fostering can be a bit lonely at times, apart from visits from the social worker, so I love going on training courses and meeting other carers and people in the same situation as me. “I suppose the downside is that I get very little time off, and so I’m thinking and planning all the time. There are some very damaged children who need a lot of love and I might not see the benefits or rewards for some considerable time. It’s often a case of working for long-term rewards. But it’s a great feeling to think that every day you’re making a difference in someone’s life — giving a structure to the kids’ days and helping them feel safe. If there are challenges and problems along the way, it’s my job to work them out.“The public image of foster carers is that we’re these big-hearted people who like to look after kids. But the number of foster carers is diminishing while there are more kids than ever needing foster homes. My message is that anyone can be considered for fostering so why not find out more about it and see if it’s for you?” AS a single male Colin Brough didn’t think that he could foster and it wasn’t until he saw an ad on the back of a bus stating that Edinburgh social work department was looking for foster carers that he decided to find out more.Colin, a self-employed marketing consultant, has always enjoyed the company of young people and has worked with several youth organisations including the Scouts and Camp America.“My girlfriend and I had never got round to having a family and when we split up I began to wonder if fostering might be something I’d enjoy being committed to,” he explains.At present Colin offers respite care to two brothers aged 14 and 16, and looks after them every third weekend. The boys’ mother isn’t well at the moment so these weekends give them a change of scene as well as providing a break for her. “Often the boys I look after haven’t had a male role model in their lives so I can help give them some structure in that way. I’m lucky to live near the Pentlands so when the boys are here I take them horse riding, quad biking and clay pigeon shooting, although sometimes they’re happy just to settle down with a pizza and a video.“I find every third weekend is the ideal arrangement as this gives me the chance to concentrate on my work and have my own social life in between visits, because obviously I commit myself totally to doing what the boys want to do when they’re here. They get on pretty well although, like most brothers, they have the odd disagreement! We don’t really talk about their home situation when they’re having a break from that, although if one of them did raise the subject I’d be happy to be their sounding board,” says Colin.“I would encourage anyone to think about fostering. I was surprised to discover that as a single male I am still eligible and I think that’s probably quite a common misconception. Obviously there are certain sensible guidelines for a single male carer — for example for my own protection I would always foster at least two boys rather than one on one.“I’d warn anyone thinking about fostering that the vetting and training process does take quite a long time because the children’s safety has to be the main priority, but hang in there as the benefits are well worth the wait. I get a great buzz out of seeing the boys relaxing and having a laugh — I really look forward to those weekends!” IF you hear a lot of giggling coming from a house in Glasgow, it could well be Jeanette Hall’s home. A foster carer for over 13 years, she largely takes emergency placements which means that the children can arrive either day or night.At the moment she is looking after a five-year-old boy, who came to her in September, and a brother and sister, five and eight, who arrived in February. Then there are her own three children who are all still at home — 22-year-old Matthew, Stephanie, 18, and Lewis who’s 10.Jeanette had always felt that fostering was something that she’d like to do, so she decided to find out more.“My parents died young and so my three brothers, my sister and I were all brought up by our grandparents. I’ve always felt how lucky we were and I thought fostering would be a way to help other children in difficult situations,” she explains.“I decided on emergency care because when I started out my own kids were quite young so it would have been hard to have other children on a long-term basis. There are all sorts of reasons why a child may need an emergency placement — anything from being left alone at night, to a parent being under the influence of drugs or alcohol or a disturbance in the house.“It’s definitely a full-time job with lots of washing and cooking, although I do send the ironing away — that’s my one luxury! The children help in small ways like making their own beds. Stephanie is really good too and helps with the kids. She’s doing an HNC in childcare at college two days a week and in a nursery for two days. My husband, who is also a full-time carer — working with young men with mental health problems — is very supportive too,” says Jeanette. “Lewis hasn’t known anything other than having foster children here because he’s grown up with them. Now he’s 10 though he tends to do his own thing.“Every child I have is an individual and of course there are challenges along the way but it’s great when you see a child going back to his or her parents. I take each week as it comes — I could see children go one day and then have two more arrive the very next night.“The worst thing is seeing kids going back and forwards like yoyos because a placement hasn’t worked out or things haven’t come together in the family.“There are no special qualifications for fostering — if you like kids and you’ve got time for them you should think about fostering,” Jeanette explains.“A lot of kids need a bit of TLC and to know that there’s someone there for them. Sometimes it can take a week or a fortnight before they realise that there’s always going to be tea on the table for them in the evening or that someone will help them with their homework and sign their book — little things that our own children take for granted.“I’d stress that anyone can foster and that it doesn’t have to be a full-time commitment — respite, weekend and short-term foster carers are all desperately needed right now too.” Fostering — the factsWhat is fostering?It is a way of offering children a home while their own parents are unable to look after them. This is usually a temporary arrangement, and many fostered children return to their own families. Children who cannot return home, but still want to stay in touch with their families, often live with a long-term foster carer. The most common types of fostering:Emergency fostering provides children with a place to go immediately.Short break/respite fostering allows carers to look after a child maybe one weekend a month. It helps keep families together by giving a much needed breathing space.Short-term fostering allows carers to look after a child for a few weeks or months.Long-term fostering is where a child cannot go home, but where the relationship between the young person and the birth family is maintained.Why do children need fostering?Some children may have been abused or neglected. Social workers work with families to help them sort out problems and make the home a safe place for a child — with the aim of reuniting children and parents. What is the difference between fostering and adoption?Fostering provides children with a home while they cannot live with their own families for a period of time.Adoption is where a new family is provided for children who can no longer live with, or ever return to live with, their own family.What is involved in becoming a foster carer?All prospective foster carers go through an assessment process, which takes around six to nine months. During this time they receive training and work with a social worker to ensure that fostering is the right decision for them and their family.Do foster carers get paid? All carers receive an allowance, which should cover the cost of looking after a foster child, and around half get a fee for their time, skills and experience. Talk to your fostering social worker about this when you begin the assessment process.Who can foster and is anyone barred?You can be single or married. You can have a low or high income. You can own your own home or rent. However, the application process will include police checks to exclude people who would not be considered suitable to be carers.How do I become a foster carer?Contact your local social work department or fostering provider. Many fostering services give applicants the chance to meet existing foster carers before beginning the approval process. Alternatively for more information about fostering visit

www.fostering.net According to the most recent statistics for Scotland: 5028 children are looked after away from home Over two-thirds of these children are living with foster carers There are approximately 2200 foster families The Fostering Network estimates there is a shortage of at least 1700 foster families.