JUST SOME BACKGROUND INFORMATION ABOUT ME

My name is Maria and I grew up in Scotland as a child in care with Nazareth House nuns from the age of two until I was fifteen in two of these homes one in Cardonald Glasgow and the other in Aberdeen both in Scotland. The regime inside these homes in my opinion were putting it mildly were sadistic and cruel but more than this I was abused throughout my living hell of thirteen years behind these convent walls and doors it was for me the most loneliest years of my life I can assure you the tears I shed over these years day in and day out night in and night out no one will ever know often wondering what on earth I had done to warrant such brutal devastating treatment to me as an innocent child. The only crime in their eyes that I had committed was coming from a broken family home so instead of blooming like a rose as a child often I was left withering and so scared you would not believe and this is no exaggeration on my part either. During my years after leaving these appalling homes my lips were sealed I never spoke about what I endured to anyone at all and yes often sought solace in many forms to deaden my pain of those very cruel years to try and cope with everyday life in the big wide world often I found very frightening, difficult and so full of need for myself to get me through each day. You see while in these homes I endured many beatings for the slightest of demeanours that the nuns took a dislike too for their own reasons known only to them. I was often humiliated in front of my peers and I felt dehumanised in my opinion this abuse that came from such angelic faces and from so called brides of christ no one would believe that these faces turned to the utmost hate while I was being abused and yet no one gave a damn not one person spoke up for me or any other little girl being abused during my time spent in these evil institutions run my the catholic church and through all of this abuse I'm afraid my religion sadly left me very quickly why? because we were led to believe that god did not love us in any way as we were evil, would never achieve anything and do no good out in the world and how thankful I should be I was in there now here comes the type of psychological abuse that I heard often that my darling Mum & Dad did not want us Oh! my god how these words tore and broke my heart with such pain as I truly deeply loved my parents Oh! so much and I never laid any blame on either of them for us ending up in care I say we as I have a lovely big sister called Anne who was also in the first home with me thank goodness and she is my angel indeed the times she would try and save me from another beating was so many and too many to count and I love her dearly indeed she is a beautiful lady with a heart of gold indeed:). so the above is just a part of what I have suffered while in care and of course left me with no self worth and no respect for myself as a person sadly never believing in myself that I was ever worthy of anything like happiness etc in this world how sad I feel is that? well I will write some more later have to take a break for now but before I go there are many of us still fighting six years on after one of the nuns sister Alphonso was found guilty in a court of law of child abuse back in the year 2000 and not one word of apology have we heard from either the catholic church or nazareth house to date now is this fair? no in my opinion is certainly is NOT!!!!!!!!!

~Maria~